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  • Writer's pictureMichael Apollo Lira

I'm still here. I've just been quiet.

Hi folks…I’m here. I’m back? I wasn’t really gone, but I have been a bit quiet. But I’m here.


Some time back, I wrote a blog entry. It was my usual flavor – a little salty, maybe a little snarky and clever. Hopefully charming and amusing. Something I’d like my readers to enjoy.


I had written it on Monday, May 23rd and thought to myself: “You know, a lot of fine folks post their blogs on Mondays. I’m gonna step back a day or two, let them do their bloggity-blog thing, and maybe I’ll publish on Wednesday or Thursday”.


I saved the draft. And I never published it.


Because on Tuesday, May 24th 2022 we all learned the name of a town that we should have probably spent our lives never having heard of. Uvalde.


I’m sad as hell to know the name Uvalde. And what’s really hard for me is that feeling sad about it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. And perhaps that’s because it isn’t enough.


I’ve wanted to write and update since then, but getting the momentum going has been really hard. My previously drafted blog will have to be posted later. When? I’m not sure. I don’t know.


Why?


It suddenly became completely inappropriate in my eyes. I have a tendency to make light of serious subjects. The world I live in as a nurse – it’s grim sometimes. I can’t live in a grim or somber state. I can’t. Nobody should have to. The general overall theme of the blog entry was about Running Gauntlets – in it, I describe the various figurative and literal gauntlets we all run in our lives and provide some generally amusing examples. And I reference my jogging route and the dangers it entails. If you’ve read my previous blogs, you may be aware I witnessed a shooting on one of my runs home from work.

I can’t make light of that right now. Not in this climate. Not with what children are faced with.


We live in a world where bullet proof is an option when picking out a backpack for your kid.


What more is there to say?




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2 Comments


Josh Alexander
Josh Alexander
Jun 21, 2022

Powerful, brother. The silence is warranted. I've missed you, but this silence is warranted, felt, understood, and grieved along with you. My 6-year-old should not have to wear a bullet-proof backpack. Will be bullet-proof clothing next. Will it be full body armor after that? What happened to my son's innocence and this nation's schools? This is a uniquely American problem. Deeply considering unenrolling him and putting him in a private school. Thank you for caring enough about this to mention, and honor, Uvalde.

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Michael Apollo Lira
Michael Apollo Lira
Jun 21, 2022
Replying to

I think of my friends who have children - you being among them, and I cannot imagine that weight that parents must be feeling from all of this.

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